It’s been three months, two weeks, and ten days since my heart broke
I lost you that day in the same way I first found you
With, a heart that couldn’t stop beating, louder and louder , a deafening silence, and nervousness in my bones
I know you’ve found another man
You tell me he loves you in the ways I couldn’t
When I ask you what that means
You hide your face and reply quietly, ‘he tells me he loves me, every single day’
I remember all those days when I took you for granted
When I was too busy fighting with you, instead of fighting for you
When I knew I was losing you so fast, but didn’t do anything about it.
You tell me, he cares about you more than I could ever imagine
I watch your eyes glimmer whilst you are talking about him
Those eyes, which shined for me, that face which turned pink when I kissed you on your cheeks
I have so much to say, but I don’t know where to start.
I have so much to confess, so much to tell, yet all those words fail when I am in front of you.
You tell me, I am the quiet type. The one who doesn’t share their emotions with someone
I laugh it off, yet I see the sadness behind your eyes, the loss which you feel while I distract you.
How do I make you understand that even if I feel a very little, it is always because of you..
Because, you were the only one who made me feel something, something that I, perhaps took too long to decipher
I know I will never be what you want me to be
Yet, I can’t stop regretting the fact that I never even tried.
I see now, you’ve changed.
No, you still love people the same way you did..
With passion, acceptance, and forgiveness
But in the journey, I think you’ve found yourself, for good.
I know you still love me, but I also know that you are not in love with me anymore.
You don’t owe me anything, really.
But I just wish, just once, that I had loved you the way you deserved…
The way you loved me, before.
Yours.. Truly
A